Earlier today a friend and I were having a conversation regarding an old boyfriend of hers. She talked about an event that took place that ended their relationship. She had been cleaning out some stuff that had been piling up in her basement and just happened to come across a picture of the two them together. She mused about the fact that periodically he showed up in her dreams. She really could not recount what his role in the dream was only that he was in it. She asked me what it meant when someone from your past keeps showing up in your dreams.
Now remember at this point I am still in friend mode and trying very hard not to drop into healing coach mode. The friend in me was appalled at this guys behavior, the healing coach in me immediately began to ponder.
The psyche is an amazing thing; think of your brain as a room full of filing cabinets. Each filing cabinet has folders and inside those folders are other folders and so on. Each and every event in your life is filed in to one of those filing folders. It could be in the main file folder or it could be in a sub-folder of a sub-folder of a sub-folder. While these events are dropping in to their files the mind can delete them (stuff them in a file and lock it) it can distort them (Make them seem less than or more than the event really was) and it can generalize them (as to make them just part of everyday life). These are called filters; some of these events will be happy, some of them will be sad and some of them will be traumatic or what your filter system perceived as traumatic. Some of these sad and traumatic events dropped into your file folders before they were dealt with. Eventually, without exception these file folders will get opened, yes even the ones or rather especially the ones that you locked up and buried the key. Something totally innocent can trigger the folder to open or a like event can trigger it to open, but it will open. It could be 2 days, 2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years or 2 decades, but since the event was filed away without resolution or healing, it will force its way to the surface when you least expect it. While working itself to the surface it can manifest itself into a physical aliment, a value, a belief, an emotion or a behavior until it is recognized and dealt with.
One opinion (mine), is in my friends case I believe (and please remember this is my opinion only) that because this event had no resolution and was filed away as a form of protection, he keeps popping up in her dreams because it is in some way, big or small, affecting her life today. Your unconscious mind will protect you at all cost, it will only give you what it knows you can handle. In her case, (I believe) her unconscious mind has allowed this guy to show up in her dreams because it was a safe outlet in which to do so. It allowed her to remember, if just for an instant, the hurt that was brought on by this event that simply was not resolved.
A traditional dream interpretation could be that there is something from her past that is bothering her. The first thing I would ask a person if I were analyzing their dream would be; “what is the first thing you think of when I say (blank)”, when I asked her this question her response was “he is an ass”. Then I would go on to ask her about the other things in her dream that she remembered, i.e. who else was in the dream, where were you, what were you doing, were there any colors that you remember, etc. None of these were relevant because she really had no specifics. Because of her body language and the fact that I had that angelic voice in my ear telling me that this was an unresolved issue, I did not go the dream analysis route.
As I said, while we sat there and talked I watched her body language. It was evident that mentioning this guy caused anger, hurt, irritation etc. I asked her if she felt that particular event in her life had resolution. She thought about it for a moment and said that it would be nice to know why he did what he did. Because this is a dear friend of mine I will not go in to details; but because I know what I know, I can clearly see how this event in her very young life plays a part in her emotional behavior today.
This of course led me to this blog, asking the question “What part of your life is unknowingly being affected by unresolved anger?” Personally, many, many times I have had to do a process I learned in school known as Hoponopono (a healing process) to deal with unresolved issues that have peppered my life. But how many unknown ones are lurking under the surface? If you read the blog just before this one you will quickly deduct that I am a work in progress.
I of course suggested to my friend that she make a scheduled appointment with me so that she can safely and swiftly heal this wound that she has carried around for the last 14 years. But how many of us deal with things on a daily basis that seem to have no rhyme or reason? How many of us are given a nudge to uncover that which is playing a negative role in our life and just ignore it? Big or small will we recognize it when we see it?
I read a statistic somewhere that said that 85% of the patients in hospitals have ailments brought on by some sort of emotional upheaval that manifested itself in to disease. That is a staggering statistic; of course it is only staggering if you chose to believe it. If that is true, were there signs, nudges and corrections that could have been made prior to that moment it became a disease, before it manifested itself into a physiological ailment, a belief, a value, a behavior or negative emotion?
These are things I ponder on this journey of mine. I ask that the next time you feel the nudge, see the signs, dream the dream or ponder why something is affecting you in a negative way, ask yourself “Is this connected to an event in my life that did not have a resolution”? Remember, your unconscious mind knows all and it will answer you if you just take the time to listen. Hint: if you have to think about it, it is your conscious mind; if the answer is immediate with no thinking involved, it is your unconscious mind answering you. Listen to it and take action, it just might be the difference between being happy and being really happy.
Love, Light and Angel Blessings
Theri
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