The Shadow knows!

Last evening, I got together with a few of my friends for Dinner. We became friends when we all took a Therapeutic Coaching Class in 2006-2007. It did not take long for a bond to form; now these are my confidantes, my friends, my support group, my sounding board, my shoulder to cry on, my sisters, my brothers, and whom I lovingly call “my peeps”. Much pondering has occurred after a get together. Last night was no exception. I find that I can be filled with uncertainty, regarding my path, my destiny, my future as a healer, until that is, I sit with my friends. It is at that point that everything becomes crystal clear. I find myself with absolute clarity when I bounce things off them. I find that they bring something out in me, that I can only describe as clarity. Last night I found myself talking about the shadow self, manifesting, and the need for all of us to move forward, with the knowledge we have now, instead of waiting until we become experts, or until we feel comfortable with the knowledge we have already acquired. My mind was clear, and there was an absolute knowing in my heart, that what I was saying was spot on.

In an effort to practice, what I preach, I am going to spread the word, even if it just to the 2 people that read my blog, and I am pretty sure one of them is my husband!

In the last blog, I talked about one of the classes I had attended, taught by author, Robert Ohotto. I touched on some of what he talked about regarding the “shadow self”. That part of us, that some of us would prefer not discuss to let alone acknowledge. However, in order to be whole, we must face it. The shadow self is not something to be feared, it is what in most situations allows us to grow.

Dr. Carl G. Jung describes the shadow self as, everything in us that is unconscious, repressed, undeveloped and denied. These are dark rejected aspects of our being as well as light, so there is positive undeveloped potential in the Shadow that we don't know about because anything that is unconscious, we don't know about.

Personally, I believe, that part of our shadow selves, reside in what irritates, bothers, and angers us in other people. Countless times, I have found myself; irritated with someone, due to things that I dislike about myself. By confronting this and taking responsibility for it, I can experience my “shadow self”, thus learning from it and bringing it light and love instead of fear and uncertainty. I am not saying that it is an easy feat, or that I am always successful, actually if I were to guess, I would say, I am unsuccessful more than I am successful. However, I do know that once I realize it, and acknowledge it, I am more apt to react differently the next time a like situation comes up, if indeed it bothers me at all. Most times, and again not always, when I find myself, completely out of sorts, due to the way someone is acting or on account of the way someone is talking. I try to stop, and consider, what that person is mirroring back to me. What is it about that person that I see in myself? Sometimes it is lack of self esteem, sometimes it is quick judgments, sometimes it can be something minor, but often times it is something that I am not aware of, something I keep buried, and yes, it can be ugly and embarrassing. It is at those times that the growing and learning takes place. The recognition and confrontation of the “shadow self”. Each time this happens, and I work up the courage to confront, what must be confronted, I find a piece of myself, a piece of me that eventually, hopefully, will make up the whole. What we resist, will persist, and resisting the “shadow self” is no exception. Moreover, on a larger scale, is a part of us that is badly needed.

This of course is not to say that the “shadow self” is always dark. Think about the people that we are drawn to. They also, are mirroring us. This is, from all that I have learned is the light “shadow self”, a part of ourselves that we may not even realize exists. Yet, is a part that is love and light. For instance; my husband is, loving, caring, responsible, compassionate, and respectful. These are all traits and behaviors that I believe I possess. I may not always be aware of them, and for that matter, I am pretty sure these things did not play into my conscious equation, but, when I met my husband, I was attracted to these qualities in him and vice versus. We where in essence, attracted to the light, “shadow self” in each other. It is also highly likely that, the dark “shadow selves” make themselves known while mirroring each other. Think about how many conflicts could be resolved in relationships; if, we recognized this from the get go.

You see, we not only have to acknowledge and take responsibility for the dark “shadow self”, we also, need to acknowledge and take responsibility for our light “shadow self”. In both we can learn and grow. A good way to discover your “shadow self”, is to ask a few of your best friends, who love you, to describe you, I mean, really, truly, honestly, describe you. I am pretty sure, there will be aspects they describe, that make you tense and anger you. You may be convinced that this is not you at all, in fact; you will be down right hostile defending yourself. And, that is okay, at first, but if you pay attention, you will see a pattern emerge over time. Your “shadow self” will make sure like situations arise time and time again, until they are confronted. It is that emotional charge, that charge you feel deep in your solar plexus, that begins the knowing. This takes time, sometimes, a life time. The “shadow self”, is neither good nor bad, right nor wrong, pure nor evil, it just is. Every single person on this planet has a “shadow self'. If knowledge is power, then knowing your “shadow self”, discovering it, reaching out for it, searching for it and growing with it, is one very big step to owning your power.

We can't change people, we can only change ourselves. The more we know about ourselves the more choices we have. If we chose to know our “shadow selves” we then open up options and choices we never knew existed. Blame would be placed exactly where it belongs. We are 100 responsible for our actions, no one can make us do or say anything we don't want to. If we look inside, instead of outside, for what prevents movement in our lives, I believe that ultimately we can become whole. I heard someone ask a question once, “would you rather be happy or would you rather be whole?' My answer is whole; for if you are not whole, if you are not complete, if you do not own all that you are, can you truly be happy?

Jesus said “You will know the truth and the truth will set you free”. I believe that knowing and learning about your “shadow self” will do just that.

Love, Light and Angel Blessings
Theri.