TO BE A LIGHT CHASER – COMPLIMENT OR INSULT?

The other day I was told that I was a Light Chaser; I knew that I had been insulted I just did not know quite how insulted I was. I began to investigate what a Light Chaser was. Turns out it is someone who chooses to dwell within the light and avoid one’s shadow self. Upon the clarification of this, I waffled between pride and righteous indignation.

The people who came to this conclusion met me once during a breath work weekend. My son, who for the last seven years has been dealing with some very real and debilitating illnesses, was given a flyer regarding an upcoming Shamanic breath work weekend. In an effort to rid himself of energy that no longer serves him, he mulled over attending this work shop.

What is Shamanic breathwork? Take a Deep Breath: Using Breathwork for Health by Carole Vansickle
Shamanic breathwork combines historic shamanic principles with contemporary breathing guidance to restore balance to the body and release stress. Shamanic breathwork attempts to waken the inner shaman healer within the breather. This is a journey inward, where the goal is to release your inner shaman as you learn to control your breathing and enter a dreamlike, altered state. The session will typically last between one and two hours the shaman inside will attempt to release dysfunctional patterns and transform old wounds.

In my work as a Therapeutic Coach I attempt to facilitate balance to the body, release stress, and help my client rid the negative aspects of themselves that no longer serve them (for more please refer to www.balancemetherapy.net). I knew very little about Shamanic breath work but being the open minded person that I am, I thought I might investigate further.

It turned out that a couple of my friends showed interest in this work shop as well, so together the four of us (Me, my son and my two friends) went. The class size was pretty decent, not too many, not too few, 35, I believe in all. It was apparent that many of the people attending were not only versed in this particular kind of breath work, but had also done it before. After an introduction, the usual setting up the rapport portion of the program and a beautiful meditation our sessions began. We each had a partner; I purposely chose to not work with my son as I thought it best not to. One person would lie down and do the breath work and one person would sit next to them and be the co-journeyer. The co-journeyers job was to assist the journeyer in whatever fashion needed; handing them tissues if necessary, holding their hand, soothing them, basically just being there with and for them.

This all seemed simple enough; basically the journeyer would take quick, big, deep breaths while music and drums played in the back ground. Once the journeyer’s intent was clear and they reached a deep state of relaxation, meditation etc their journey would begin. My son and I were to be the co-journeyer’s in the first session; neither of us were prepared for what happened next. Within minutes, the roomed filled up with deep sadness, agony and wailing. I am not going to divulge what I witnessed that day, as each person in that room was experiencing something deeply personal and sacred. Suffice to say that both my son and I were completely taken off guard. I knew the energy in that room was about to overpower me, though I had sufficiently protected myself before entering the room. I quickly called in my Angelic reinforcements. My son and his partner were behind me, I knew that if I was completely freaked out, my son had to have been out of his mind.

I turned to look at my son, to silently offer him encouragement. He was nowhere to be seen; in his place was one of the instructors. I knew that he was outside the room somewhere in a full blown panic attack. I turned back to my partner who at this point had begun her own journey and she needed me, I silently said a prayer and hoped for the best. I held my partners hand, I wiped away her tears, I administered Reiki and rocked her when she needed rocking. This was powerful stuff and I was so happy that she was releasing what so desperately needed to be released.

During this time I was receiving one message after another, the most powerful one was from my father, (he passed in 1982). I could hear his voice clearly through the howl of agony around me, he told me not to worry about my son because he was with him. He assured me that he would take care of him and would not leave him. I dared to look back one more time to see if he had come back in to the room, He was indeed back, however, he was white as a sheet, his eyes were wide with terror and I could see that he was shaking. I was comforted knowing that my Dad was there talking silently to him. My son’s partner was quietly lying on the floor next to him, there was nothing for him to do but be with her. She later lamented about the fact that her journey was uneventful. I don’t know if divine planning had taken place, but I know that my son would have been unable to assist her had she gone on a journey as those around her did. I will forever be grateful for her love and understanding regarding the situation.

Between sessions we broke for lunch. My first instinct was to walk directly to my car and drive away. However, I was the driver. I am pretty sure my friends would not have been happy! I did, however tell my son, who at this point was less than happy, that if he felt he had to leave, I would totally understand. His desperation to be rid of whatever energy blocks he was dealing with, pushed him forward, a quitter he is not.

As our turn descended upon us, I made sure that I was far enough away from my son that my “Mother’s instinct” would not be a hindrance. The music began and the drums began to beat, within minutes I was transported to the Angelic realm. What seemed like a minute later, I heard the command to slowly come back in to the room. Mine was a very pleasant experience, nothing dark or scary or traumatic. (Fast forward 4 weeks, apparently, this is where the instructors first began to assume that I am a “Light Chaser”. From what I can gather Shamanic breathing is suppose to be dark and unpleasant).

Once fully conscious I looked for my son; he was leaning against a pole with one of the main instructors holding him. He was spent. I decided to hold off any questioning until later. After our session we were to draw a picture of our experience. The only picture that came to me was a picture of an Angel, so that is what I drew. (Fast forward 4 weeks, this is the second reason the instructors judged me a “Light Chaser”).

My son and I talked and processed for a better part of the night. We were to return the next day to process with the group. The one thing we were both pretty solid on was that we never wanted to do this type of work in again, at least in a group setting. My son did have an experience; however, he was pretty sure his experience stemmed from his anxiety, as opposed to an honest to goodness Shamanic healing.

The next day, his anxiety level was through the roof and his nausea was in a heightened state. We broke off in to two groups, my son and I were separated, which was a good thing. In our separate groups we were to each talk about our experience on our journey. I listened intently as each person spoke and was truly touched by the things I heard. These experiences were so healing for these people and I was genuinely blessed to have been part of this. With each person, everyone shared their thoughts. When my turn came, I shared my experience. As I did I felt the energy pull back, no one had anything to say to me regarding my experience, and the instructor was searching for a way to tell me nicely that I did not do the work. I could feel my angels surrounding me in a protective fashion, I thought about defending myself, but decided it was not the time nor the place and it would only fall on deaf ears.

I knew then that I was not an accepted part of this group; I was to suffer during my journey not chill with my angelic friends. I was okay with that, disappointed by their judgment of me, but okay none the less. I truly, with all my heart, believe that there are different methods in which to come to the same outcome. What is good for one is not necessarily good for another. I truly believe that most of the people in that workshop were able to heal from some very traumatic events in their lives. Do I believe that Shamanic Breath work is the only method in which healing would have taken place? Absolutely not. Do I believe that it is a valid form of healing? Absolutely!

I have a gift, a gift of being able to sense what people are feeling, a gift that enables me to see beyond the flesh, a gift that allows me to hear what others do not. I am blessed!

I left that day feeling sad and disappointed that people who did not know me or my life had judged me. They will tell you they did not, but they very much did, maybe not consciously but very much energetically. I really liked these people, they are warm and friendly and they absolutely know their stuff. What they don’t know is the darkness that I have faced head on in my life. What they don’t know is that I have spent the better part of 25 years exorcising my demons and finding the lesson within the darkness. I have come to light for the most part free and authentic.

I have recently learned that it is being said amongst these same people, that my son has taken on the dark to my light, the dark that according to them, I have chosen to not deal with and instead chase the light, and that this is part of the reason he is ill. To those I say, do not judge until you have walked in my shoes, until you have explored the depths of hell that I have. I do know that my son was indeed present for some of that exploration, but I did the work, I endured the dark nights of the soul that ensued because of it. True, it was not Shamanic breath work but it was work none the less that brought me to outcome of the light. For the most part he was sheltered from it. Is possible that he took on some of the energetic spill off? Of course it is possible. Does it sadden me? Yes. Do I believe it is his turn to do the work? Yes. Do I believe it has to be through Shamanic Breath work? That would be a RESOUNDING NO!

I do not believe that every pimple has to be brought to the surface and endured a second time to be healed. There is a process that is called unconscious clearing that I use quite regularly in my practice that is very effective. Other practitioners use other methods that are quite effective. The past is the past and the less time spent there the better, especially the traumatic past. Get in, get out, deal with it and move forward. I don’t dwell in the past much; I did the work at the time. Some people spend a lot of time there; I don’t, not because I am afraid to or because I am avoiding it. Simply said, I have already lived it. Maybe this is another reason why I was not made a welcome participant in that seminar. They very much dwell in the past and in the darkness. I chose the light; in the light I see everything.

I do not know what type of work my son will chose to do in order to break free of this ancestral energy he carries with him, but I do know that whatever it is, whether it be in through Shamanic breath work, angelic healing or anything in between, I will be there for him, shining my light. The light I worked so hard for. The light he has come to depend on when he is blinded by the darkness. I guess some will say that by shining my light, it takes away from the experiences that my son must face. But, my light shines, it shines when it is dark, it shines when it is light, I have earned it, I have worked for it. If my light shines bright for just one person in this life then I am blessed and thankful; if it is my son that benefits from that light even better.

My friend, one of the ones that actually went to the seminar with us said to me today, “I thought our goal in life was to work through the darkness in order to enter the light, doesn’t it make sense that there would be different levels to it all? Maybe you have worked through enough of your crap that your job now is to simply rest and hold the light?” To her I say touché and thank you.

Am I a light chaser?

Compliment or insult?

Judgment is dark, I choose not to judge.

Love, Light and Angel Blessings
Theri