TO BE A LIGHT CHASER – COMPLIMENT OR INSULT?

The other day I was told that I was a Light Chaser; I knew that I had been insulted I just did not know quite how insulted I was. I began to investigate what a Light Chaser was. Turns out it is someone who chooses to dwell within the light and avoid one’s shadow self. Upon the clarification of this, I waffled between pride and righteous indignation.

The people who came to this conclusion met me once during a breath work weekend. My son, who for the last seven years has been dealing with some very real and debilitating illnesses, was given a flyer regarding an upcoming Shamanic breath work weekend. In an effort to rid himself of energy that no longer serves him, he mulled over attending this work shop.

What is Shamanic breathwork? Take a Deep Breath: Using Breathwork for Health by Carole Vansickle
Shamanic breathwork combines historic shamanic principles with contemporary breathing guidance to restore balance to the body and release stress. Shamanic breathwork attempts to waken the inner shaman healer within the breather. This is a journey inward, where the goal is to release your inner shaman as you learn to control your breathing and enter a dreamlike, altered state. The session will typically last between one and two hours the shaman inside will attempt to release dysfunctional patterns and transform old wounds.

In my work as a Therapeutic Coach I attempt to facilitate balance to the body, release stress, and help my client rid the negative aspects of themselves that no longer serve them (for more please refer to www.balancemetherapy.net). I knew very little about Shamanic breath work but being the open minded person that I am, I thought I might investigate further.

It turned out that a couple of my friends showed interest in this work shop as well, so together the four of us (Me, my son and my two friends) went. The class size was pretty decent, not too many, not too few, 35, I believe in all. It was apparent that many of the people attending were not only versed in this particular kind of breath work, but had also done it before. After an introduction, the usual setting up the rapport portion of the program and a beautiful meditation our sessions began. We each had a partner; I purposely chose to not work with my son as I thought it best not to. One person would lie down and do the breath work and one person would sit next to them and be the co-journeyer. The co-journeyers job was to assist the journeyer in whatever fashion needed; handing them tissues if necessary, holding their hand, soothing them, basically just being there with and for them.

This all seemed simple enough; basically the journeyer would take quick, big, deep breaths while music and drums played in the back ground. Once the journeyer’s intent was clear and they reached a deep state of relaxation, meditation etc their journey would begin. My son and I were to be the co-journeyer’s in the first session; neither of us were prepared for what happened next. Within minutes, the roomed filled up with deep sadness, agony and wailing. I am not going to divulge what I witnessed that day, as each person in that room was experiencing something deeply personal and sacred. Suffice to say that both my son and I were completely taken off guard. I knew the energy in that room was about to overpower me, though I had sufficiently protected myself before entering the room. I quickly called in my Angelic reinforcements. My son and his partner were behind me, I knew that if I was completely freaked out, my son had to have been out of his mind.

I turned to look at my son, to silently offer him encouragement. He was nowhere to be seen; in his place was one of the instructors. I knew that he was outside the room somewhere in a full blown panic attack. I turned back to my partner who at this point had begun her own journey and she needed me, I silently said a prayer and hoped for the best. I held my partners hand, I wiped away her tears, I administered Reiki and rocked her when she needed rocking. This was powerful stuff and I was so happy that she was releasing what so desperately needed to be released.

During this time I was receiving one message after another, the most powerful one was from my father, (he passed in 1982). I could hear his voice clearly through the howl of agony around me, he told me not to worry about my son because he was with him. He assured me that he would take care of him and would not leave him. I dared to look back one more time to see if he had come back in to the room, He was indeed back, however, he was white as a sheet, his eyes were wide with terror and I could see that he was shaking. I was comforted knowing that my Dad was there talking silently to him. My son’s partner was quietly lying on the floor next to him, there was nothing for him to do but be with her. She later lamented about the fact that her journey was uneventful. I don’t know if divine planning had taken place, but I know that my son would have been unable to assist her had she gone on a journey as those around her did. I will forever be grateful for her love and understanding regarding the situation.

Between sessions we broke for lunch. My first instinct was to walk directly to my car and drive away. However, I was the driver. I am pretty sure my friends would not have been happy! I did, however tell my son, who at this point was less than happy, that if he felt he had to leave, I would totally understand. His desperation to be rid of whatever energy blocks he was dealing with, pushed him forward, a quitter he is not.

As our turn descended upon us, I made sure that I was far enough away from my son that my “Mother’s instinct” would not be a hindrance. The music began and the drums began to beat, within minutes I was transported to the Angelic realm. What seemed like a minute later, I heard the command to slowly come back in to the room. Mine was a very pleasant experience, nothing dark or scary or traumatic. (Fast forward 4 weeks, apparently, this is where the instructors first began to assume that I am a “Light Chaser”. From what I can gather Shamanic breathing is suppose to be dark and unpleasant).

Once fully conscious I looked for my son; he was leaning against a pole with one of the main instructors holding him. He was spent. I decided to hold off any questioning until later. After our session we were to draw a picture of our experience. The only picture that came to me was a picture of an Angel, so that is what I drew. (Fast forward 4 weeks, this is the second reason the instructors judged me a “Light Chaser”).

My son and I talked and processed for a better part of the night. We were to return the next day to process with the group. The one thing we were both pretty solid on was that we never wanted to do this type of work in again, at least in a group setting. My son did have an experience; however, he was pretty sure his experience stemmed from his anxiety, as opposed to an honest to goodness Shamanic healing.

The next day, his anxiety level was through the roof and his nausea was in a heightened state. We broke off in to two groups, my son and I were separated, which was a good thing. In our separate groups we were to each talk about our experience on our journey. I listened intently as each person spoke and was truly touched by the things I heard. These experiences were so healing for these people and I was genuinely blessed to have been part of this. With each person, everyone shared their thoughts. When my turn came, I shared my experience. As I did I felt the energy pull back, no one had anything to say to me regarding my experience, and the instructor was searching for a way to tell me nicely that I did not do the work. I could feel my angels surrounding me in a protective fashion, I thought about defending myself, but decided it was not the time nor the place and it would only fall on deaf ears.

I knew then that I was not an accepted part of this group; I was to suffer during my journey not chill with my angelic friends. I was okay with that, disappointed by their judgment of me, but okay none the less. I truly, with all my heart, believe that there are different methods in which to come to the same outcome. What is good for one is not necessarily good for another. I truly believe that most of the people in that workshop were able to heal from some very traumatic events in their lives. Do I believe that Shamanic Breath work is the only method in which healing would have taken place? Absolutely not. Do I believe that it is a valid form of healing? Absolutely!

I have a gift, a gift of being able to sense what people are feeling, a gift that enables me to see beyond the flesh, a gift that allows me to hear what others do not. I am blessed!

I left that day feeling sad and disappointed that people who did not know me or my life had judged me. They will tell you they did not, but they very much did, maybe not consciously but very much energetically. I really liked these people, they are warm and friendly and they absolutely know their stuff. What they don’t know is the darkness that I have faced head on in my life. What they don’t know is that I have spent the better part of 25 years exorcising my demons and finding the lesson within the darkness. I have come to light for the most part free and authentic.

I have recently learned that it is being said amongst these same people, that my son has taken on the dark to my light, the dark that according to them, I have chosen to not deal with and instead chase the light, and that this is part of the reason he is ill. To those I say, do not judge until you have walked in my shoes, until you have explored the depths of hell that I have. I do know that my son was indeed present for some of that exploration, but I did the work, I endured the dark nights of the soul that ensued because of it. True, it was not Shamanic breath work but it was work none the less that brought me to outcome of the light. For the most part he was sheltered from it. Is possible that he took on some of the energetic spill off? Of course it is possible. Does it sadden me? Yes. Do I believe it is his turn to do the work? Yes. Do I believe it has to be through Shamanic Breath work? That would be a RESOUNDING NO!

I do not believe that every pimple has to be brought to the surface and endured a second time to be healed. There is a process that is called unconscious clearing that I use quite regularly in my practice that is very effective. Other practitioners use other methods that are quite effective. The past is the past and the less time spent there the better, especially the traumatic past. Get in, get out, deal with it and move forward. I don’t dwell in the past much; I did the work at the time. Some people spend a lot of time there; I don’t, not because I am afraid to or because I am avoiding it. Simply said, I have already lived it. Maybe this is another reason why I was not made a welcome participant in that seminar. They very much dwell in the past and in the darkness. I chose the light; in the light I see everything.

I do not know what type of work my son will chose to do in order to break free of this ancestral energy he carries with him, but I do know that whatever it is, whether it be in through Shamanic breath work, angelic healing or anything in between, I will be there for him, shining my light. The light I worked so hard for. The light he has come to depend on when he is blinded by the darkness. I guess some will say that by shining my light, it takes away from the experiences that my son must face. But, my light shines, it shines when it is dark, it shines when it is light, I have earned it, I have worked for it. If my light shines bright for just one person in this life then I am blessed and thankful; if it is my son that benefits from that light even better.

My friend, one of the ones that actually went to the seminar with us said to me today, “I thought our goal in life was to work through the darkness in order to enter the light, doesn’t it make sense that there would be different levels to it all? Maybe you have worked through enough of your crap that your job now is to simply rest and hold the light?” To her I say touché and thank you.

Am I a light chaser?

Compliment or insult?

Judgment is dark, I choose not to judge.

Love, Light and Angel Blessings
Theri

RELATIVES HAPPEN

I have had writers block as of late; or at least that is what I choose to call it. When I decided to have a blog, I promised myself that I would only blog if I had something to blog about. Lately, I have felt blocked, like nothing I had to say was of any relevance. Thus, I have not blogged.

Today, if for no other reason than to practice what I preach. Often times when things seem unclear it helps to put it in black and white i.e. put pen to paper, or in this case fingers to typewriter.

As the world spins out of control around me, I find solace in immersing myself in the creation of my family tree. Metaphorically, this makes sense; a tree, being that of life and creation being that which brings something to life.

I have been so immersed in the project, that my son keeps kidding me that I am going to have to join ancestry’s anonymous to kick the habit. He often tells me to “step away from the computer”, because I seem so driven. When the little nagging in the back of my brain first began to research my family tree, I sloughed it off. Thinking one, it would be a waste of time, and two, what would be the purpose. The nagging eventually got louder and louder, until I succumbed to it and began the research.

Once I put my mind to it, it was as if I had jumped off a cliff and was gleefully falling to the ground. One minute I was content to live my life without knowing much about my family, except for my immediate family that is; the next minute I was completely obsessed. I deducted that there was something I would discover or learn that was necessary to my existence at this point of my life.

As I researched, these relatives of mine, (the ones that had been gone for a very long time and for some decades), were happily standing over my shoulder nudging me to work on their branch of the tree. I had so many names going through my head that I actually had to make them form a line. I had to explain that I could only concentrate on researching one at a time. I figured, heck, they had nothing but time, a little patience was not too much to ask. Of course, that did not stop the pushier ones from jumping in when they saw an opening. I know hard to believe these people are related to me….LOL.

I openly admit that I have an unfair advantage; not everyone has the help of their dearly departed relatives to help them work on their family tree. Don’t get me wrong, I have put in some really long hours of research, but when I am really stumped, I can count of one of them to jump in and give me a clue.

Let me give you an example: My Grandfather (Dad’s, Dad), being Russian, changed his name when he came of age so that it would sound more American and business like. I really don’t get it personally, but times were different then and I am sure it seemed logical at the time. So logical in fact, that some of his brothers changed their last name as well. Thank goodness they all changed it to the same name or this tree would really be a nightmare. Anyway getting back to my story; because of the name change, finding information on my Grandfather was challenging. Everything from before the name change was pretty much wiped out. I knew what the original last name was and was able to find some information on that side of the family. However, I could not find my GG grandparent’s names because I could not link anyone to my Grandfather because of the name change. As I was pondering this dilemma one day; I hear “find me and you will find him”. Uhhhhh, and who might you be? (Good Lord, with as many dead relatives I had around, it could have been anybody), Uncle Roger is what I hear. Really, so how will that help me? No further information came. So, being the good little investigator I am, I began my research in to my Uncle Roger’s death in 1955. It turns out he was killed on a naval ship on November 11, 1955 in San Diego. Apparently there was a Veteran’s Day celebration and the Air Force was doing maneuvers in celebration of the day and one of the planes spun out of control, crashing in to the area of the ship where my Uncle had been. I found the newspaper article relating to his death. At first glance this told me nothing, so once again I ask, “How does this help me”? Read carefully, was my answer. I re-read the article 4 times, nothing. I read it a 5th time and noticed that though I knew my Grandfather’s first name to be William, the name in the article had his first name as Anton. i.e. the parents of Roger Edwards etc. This is odd I thought, why would they report it as Anton?

Can you hear the bells going off? Ding, Ding, Ding. I realized at that moment that he had not only changed his last name, he changed his first name as well. When I re-researched his name with Anton and the original last name, I found what I had been looking for, evidence of his existence before the name change and bonus, my GG Grandparents name and his sisters and brothers name. I even discovered that my Grandfather was actually born in Russia and immigrated with his parents in 1911. This was something that no one in the family was aware of. So indeed, I found Uncle Roger, which led me to my Grandfather, which led me to my GG Grandparents. Turns out Uncle Roger was spot on, way to go Uncle.

I could give so many examples of the help like I received above while working on this family tree, it could fill a book, but I will spare you each and every detail. Or maybe I will devote a whole blog to it, as I am sure there are many more to come. I will wait and see what kind of feed back on this blog I get.

I found relatives in Michigan that I vaguely remember having; these would be my Italian Grandmother’s family. I connected with them and quickly set up a visit. It was a great visit; my 84 year old Aunt (my Grandmothers youngest sister) filled our bellies with homemade Italian food (seriously, was full for three days), stories, pictures and a wealth of information. We (me, my sister and my husband) visited with three of our Aunts in all that weekend. I wrote feverishly as they talked. Much to my sister’s surprise, all the departed male relatives went home with her and insist on serenading her as she cooks. Personally I am okay with that. You see my sister likes to tell people that “we” are working on our family tree, which in reality means “me”, I say it is only fair she get visited by some dead relatives.

Of course my house is full of all my dearly departed female relatives from all branches, (Italian, Russian, and German, which is nice because my husband’s yia yia (Greek) hangs out at our house, so now she has friends). They insist on telling me how to clean and do my laundry. You would be surprised at how many accents I hear in my head, it is like having the friggin united nations rolling around in my melon all day……but that is story for another day.

I have also connected with cousins and aunts from my mom’s side of the family in New Jersey (yes live ones). I can feel a weekend trip to New Jersey in my future. My family tree is far from complete; there is still a lot to discover. And my relatives alive and not so alive are anxious for me to discover it. I keep waiting for the one piece of information that uncovers the mystery as why this is so important to me. I figure when that happens my obsession will stop. Each time I find a new piece of information, I think, is this it? I assume it has not been discovered yet, as here I sit writing and pondering what information I should research next.

Of course there always is the possibility that with all the chaos going on in the world I feel the need to connect. My friend Diana pointed out that the research part of this feeds the logical part of me. I live my life so immersed in what I can’t see, touch, feel or smell, maybe this is just a way to allow the logical side and the spiritual side to connect and work together on the same level. Maybe I will never discover why the need is so strong to do this. Maybe I just have really pushy relatives who want to be heard. Believe me that is not a stretch. Or maybe I just enjoy discovering where I come from in this life time. For all I know one of the relatives I have found might have been me. Can you imagine discovering that you are your own GG Grandparent? Think of the possibilities. But then again, that would be a story for another day.

Love, Light and Angel Blessings
Theri

CHAOS!

CHAOS!

*A state of complete disorder and confusion.
*The earliest condition of the universe; cosmology the unbounded space and formless matter supposed to have existed before the creation of the universe.
*Apparent disorder; physics the unpredictability inherent in a system such as the weather, in which apparently random changes occur as a result of the system's extreme sensitivity to small differences in initial conditions.

Chaos seems to be everywhere these days. I was talking to a dear friend last night about what chaos is. Chaos is for lack of a better term flighty energy. This particular energy is squirrely, disruptive, disorderly, disturbed, and uncomfortable and often carries with it an energy of anxiety. So how does one combat this particular energy?

For some, this seems like a simple problem, for others, an almost impossible task. Some people think they function best in chaos and some people, me included choose to not function in chaos at all. I say choose because, I believe we all have the ability to be in chaos or not.

You see my friend works in a chaotic environment; the atmosphere is chaotic, the people are chaotic and the nature of the business is chaotic. I know this not just because she has told me about the chaos, but because when I get a psychic read on her working conditions I feel like I am in a tornado. She shared with me that while in the mist of this chaos, she often dissociates, checks out, pulls out of her body so to speak and or all the above.

She said for the first time while she was in a meeting she could feel herself energetically leave her body. Though this might work well every now and then, for the most part it is not necessarily conducive to an acceptable level of productivity.

As she talked to me messages where coming in very quickly about the ability to ground. For any of you who have followed my blogs you know that I have spoken about the importance of grounding often. Being grounded serves as a glue of sorts, between us and the earth. Like I said Chaotic energy is flighty and therefore swirls around our 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th and 7th chakras, i.e. waist to head and above. Your 1st chakra is your grounding chakra which is located at the very base of your spine. If we center that energy (ground) it has no choice but to center itself to the earth and therefore chaos ceases to exist within ones self.

I explained to her that going forward when she finds herself in these chaotic situations she needs to immediately step back, take a deep breath and ground herself to the earth. If you think about the fact that the chaos is caused by the mixing of energies in a turbulent way, it only makes sense to take your energy out of the mix. Which of course, is why my friend found it necessary to “check out” at those chaotic times?

Grounding is a simple process; when necessary it can be done in just a few minutes. If you are in a room full of people imagine yourself pulling your energy back through your crown chakra down through your body, down through your feet and in to the ground. There it will connect with the mighty energy of mother earth. Then bring the earths energy back up through your feet, your body and out through your head to connect with the heavens, anchoring you securely to the heavens and earth. Calm will automatically fill your space. It is not important if the other people in the room wish to remain in the chaos, what is important is that you step out of it.

If you are working one on one with someone and you feel the chaos; first send that person healing energy and then ground yourself using the process above. You will find that not only you feel calmer but the person you are working with will become calmer.

If you find yourself in a chaos of your own making; which often happens, take a few extra minutes and sit in a chair. Allow you feet to rest flatly on the floor, now imagine there are thick roots growing out the bottom of your feet, allow those roots to grow thicker as they burrow deeper in to the earth. Once the roots reach the center of the earth, imagine that root connecting with a beautiful rainbow colored crystal, now allow that beautifully colored energy to flow up the roots, up through your feet and up through your body. Allow the lighted energy to flow out of your crown chakra bringing with it any chaotic energy it has found along the way, this energy reaches to the heavens where it connects with a bright white lightening bolt of energy. Bring this energy back down through your crown and in to your body. Now ask yourself “what was all the chaos about”? I think you will be hard pressed to conjure up that out of control feeling.

Chaos can only exist in a fertile environment, grounding yourself daily, or even hourly will block the chaotic environment from your Aura, thus allowing you to sit out of the fray of the craziness.

When practiced, eventually being grounded will be as natural as breathing and as easy as counting 1, 2, 3. People ask me all the time “How do you stay so calm”? I am calm because for me, grounding myself is part of my daily routine, as routine as taking a shower or brushing my teeth. At work I am a grounding force to those around me, I am often looked to when the chaos begins, to be the voice of reason, the calmness within the storm. At home, I am the one that sets the stage, stepping back and looking at things reasonably and realistically. I am able to do this because I am grounded, securely anchored to the heavens and to the earth.

So, the answer to the question “how does one combat that chaotic energy” is simple; Ground, Ground, Ground, Ground, and then Ground some more.

Love, Light and Angel Blessings
Theri